Tony DiNozzo's Day Off
by Fictionnaire
Summary: A dedication to John Hughes Director of Ferris Bueller's Day Off Tony cons McGee, Ziva and Abby into getting out of work and have a fun day in DC. Can they get away with it?
1. Chapter 1

_**Tony DiNozzo's Day Off**_

_**A/N: This is a tribute to Hollywood Director John Hughes. Director of such films as Home Alone and one of my all time favorites… Ferris Bueller's Day Off. So this is a tribute to the great director.**_

_**Summary: It's a beautiful day in Washington DC. Who wants to spend the day indoors, cooped up doing boring paperwork? Not DiNozzo. Can he con McGee and Ziva into going out on the town and not get caught by Gibbs? Only time will tell.**_

_**NCIS Bullpen.**_

Tony looked to his left to look outside the squad room windows. It was a really nice day outside and instead of being out there and enjoying those beautiful rays, the team was stuck indoors catching up on monotonous paperwork. McGee wiped his red nose with a tissue and sniffled.

"You look terrible Probie," Tony almost laughed. Leave it up to McGee to get a nasty cold during the warmer months.

"Gee thanks, Tony," McGee sniffled once again.

"Maybe you should go home. I can take you home," Tony's smile broadened. The thought of having an excuse to leave was just so pleasing to him.

"I'm glad me being sick is making you so happy, Tony," McGee whined a little. His nose sounded stuffy. "But I doubt that Gibbs would allow me to go home just because I have a little cold," McGee sighed. He wanted to go home and stay warm, probably curl up on the bed and sleep the thing off.

"Probably not," Tony thought for a moment. It only took a split second for a plan to form in his scheming mind. "I'll be right back," Tony told McGee and he rushed to the elevator at full speed.

McGee didn't know what to make of this but thought it wise not to inquire to the odd behavior. Some times pleading ignorance was the correct course of action. He watched the hurrying figure step into the elevator. He shook his head before returning back to his work.

Ziva spied McGee's pale complexion and Tony's empty desk in one go. "Where has Tony gone?" Ziva asked.

McGee could only shrug his shoulders in response. He couldn't believe that Tony had just ran off during their work without saying anything. Though, McGee wasn't sure why he wasn't so surprised about it. Tony was pretty good at disappearing. Tony finally came out of the elevator and adjusted his jacket.

"Are you alright Tony?" Ziva asked. She saw that he was profusely sweating and breathing heavily.

"I'm fine," Tony gave an automated response. He managed to add a smile. "Thanks Probie, I think I got what you have," he coughed a couple of times and used a handkerchief to wipe his sweaty forehead. Some of it was getting into his eyes. Tony coughed a couple of times and his whole body shook with each cough.

Gibbs walked in to the bullpen and heard the commotion. Gibbs looked at Tony and then at McGee. He had planned to use their crime free time to catch up on their backed up paper work. Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's forehead and flicked the sweat off his hand. "That's it," Gibbs said to Gibbs and McGee. "It's time you two leave... You look like shit," Gibbs commented.

"I'm fine," Tony responded quickly.

"You're not... Ziva! I want you to take McGee and Tony to their homes," Gibbs would do it him self but he had too much to do already. There was the usual lead agent paperwork and some M-TAC meetings to handle.

"But, Gibbs," Ziva didn't want to play nurse to the two agents. But knew that arguing with Gibbs on this point was beyond useless.

"But, Boss," Tony said in a very whiny tone.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked.

"Yes, Boss," Tony bowed his head down in defeat and grabbed his bag. He didn't want to argue too much. The outside was looking very inviting. McGee slowly followed suit. The two followed Ziva into the elevator.

* * *

Ziva drove the two patients towards Tony's home first. She couldn't believe that she was given this detail. Tony used the bottle of water to cool his body down a bit. "There, that's better," Tony smiled. "Pull over here, now," he tapped Ziva on the shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Ziva asked the over exuberant man in the back seat.

"Just do it," Tony said emphatically. Ziva quickly obeyed. She didn't want her car to get soiled at all. So it was better to obey. Tony jumped out of the car with lightning speed and disappeared out of sight. Ziva sat there with a blank look on her face.

Ziva was rapidly losing patience with Tony and was surprised when he came back to the car with a huge bag in his arms. "You are not out to do shopping, Tony," Ziva said. She couldn't understand the mischievous look in Tony's eyes.

"I thought you were sick," McGee sighed. He was still not feeling the best. He got an exasperated expression on his face when Tony started taking off his jacket.

"It's amazing what a few minutes of intense calisthenics can do to you in a confined space," Tony's smile broadened. McGee rolled his eyes. He knew that Tony had something ticking over in his mind and now McGee understood that he was an unwilling participant. And so was Ziva.

* * *

_**Meanwhile back at NCIS...**_

Gibbs just got off the telephone and shook his head. He called Abby to the bullpen immediately. This was something he didn't want to do, but it had to be done. Abby walked briskly into the bullpen and was surprised to see that Gibbs was the only one there.

"Abs," Gibbs said after a long pause. Her mood immediately turned serious. "I just got a call from a Sister Rosetta Toulon... I'm sorry but she told me to inform you that Sister Marita Corviana has been in a terrible accident. Toulon is coming by to take you to see her," Gibbs explained.

Abby covered her mouth to stop her self from crying out. Gibbs held her tightly when he saw the black tears beginning to fill. "I'm sorry, Abs," Gibbs said softly.

"I'm going to go and wait for Sister Toulon outside," Abby said after composing herself.

"You want me to stay with you?" Gibbs asked. Abby shook her head. Gibbs understood that she might have wanted to be alone to absorb this news on her own. "Call me if you need me," Gibbs said.

"Thanks, Boss-man," Abby said to him before leaving the bullpen.

Abby waited in the parking lot. She knew who Corviana was since she often talked about Marita with the others but had never heard of Rosetta. There was a nun waiting for her near the parking lot. "Sister Toulon?" Abby asked.

"No," the nun laughed with a male voice. "How about Sister DiNozzo?" Tony asked her with a huge smile on his face.

Abby slapped him on the shoulder. "Come on! That was a dirty rotten trick you pulled. What are you doing? This is so mean! You're so mean!" Abby yelled at him.

"This way," Tony told Abby. "We're going out and enjoying DC," he took Abby to the car.

"God bless you sister," Someone said as they passed Tony.

"And may god bless you to young man," Tony said in his extremely deep voice which made the passing man almost walk into a lamp post. Abby entered the front seat of the car and Tony removed his nun costume and put on his jacket before stepping into the car. "Are you ready for a day like no other?" Tony almost laughed. McGee sniffled, Ziva rolled her eyes and Abby clapped her hands together. "I'll drive," Tony swapped places with the complaining Ziva.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Tony DiNozzo's Day Off**_

Tony looked through a map of Washington. There wasn't a lot of time to think about this. Tony turned to face his backseat passengers. "Any suggestions?" He asked them. For the life of him he couldn't think of a place to go right now. It was mid-morning and therefore there was nothing going on as of yet.

"How about home?" McGee sniffled.

"I'm hungry actually," Abby felt her stomach rumble it's agreement.

Ziva shrugged her shoulders in defeat. It really seemed pointless to resist, especially when Tony was in full fun mode. "Brunch it is then," Tony said loudly. Today was a day where he felt daring. He wanted to fit in a whole day of fun. He drove around looking for a good place to eat.

Tony drove around until he found a real posh looking restaurant to eat at. Everyone reluctantly agreed that they'd have brunch at an expensive place. They walked in to the dining area but was immediately stopped before they could step foot in the restaurant. "I'm sorry," the man told McGee, Abby, Tony and Ziva.

"About what?" Tony asked. He knew what was going on.

"Do you four have a reservation?" The man asked.

Everybody but Tony went to turn around and leave. "Actually… We're Federal Agents and we're observing someone in the restaurant… Us eating here is actually imperative to National Security," Tony explained. The others quickly turned around.

The man looked at the young man, the other young man who was clearly unwell, the girl dressed as a Goth and a foreign looking girl. "You're federal agents?" The man didn't believe them for a minute. They all showed them their NCIS IDs. "I still don't believe you're coming in here to spy on people," the man wasn't buying that at all.

Tony bit down on his lower lip and checked the restaurant walls… The décor was nice but then he had spotted the Wall Of Fame. There were photographs of famous people who ate there. There were George W Bush, Bill Murray with Dan Akroyd and also a few others on the wall. "Actually, do you know who we have here?" Tony pointed to McGee.

"No Tony," McGee pleaded for Tony to shut up.

"Who?" The man asked.

"None other than the famous author of Deep Six… Mister Thom E Gemcity," Tony was ecstatic.

Again the man looked as if he didn't believe them. McGee rubbed his eyes, honestly, he didn't want to be a part of this but now he was trapped on the spot. McGee pulled out a special card from his wallet. "Wow," The man studied it for a bit. He waved McGee in. He loved how much publicity famous people were giving the restaurant.

Tony and co looked longingly at McGee who had stepped in. "I'm only coming in here if my friends can as well," McGee stood his ground. The others were going to owe him big time for this.

"Alright," The man waved them through and sat them at a special table. Everybody laughed at watching McGee getting fussed over. Abby, Tony and Ziva crowded around McGee to get into the publicity shot. A couple of camera flashes went off. Before he knew it, McGee was signing some autographs. That seemed to tie them over until the meal and wine arrived.

"Bit early to be drinking is it not?" Ziva asked. They were each given a glass.

"I haven't had wine like this in forever," Abby commented at its strong, fruity taste. She only drank half a glass while sifting through her sausage and egg breakfast. The others had basically the same. They weren't about to have a large brunch.

"How does it feel to flaunt your fame McGee?" Tony asked with a cheerful tone.

"It's alright," McGee answered. He hated to admit that he enjoyed the small bit of power that Gemcity held.

"What about the poor people you stole the reservations from?" Tony asked. It wasn't long until the others got into the same act.

"Yeah… They'd probably have to turn them away," Abby teased. She shook her head in a mocking manner. "Does it make you feel good?" She asked.

"Yes McGee," Ziva joined in as she finished eating her toast.

"Now wait a minute," McGee defended himself. That wasn't his intention. He hadn't planned on using his power this way. Maybe he did steal someone's reservation. "Wait on," he interrupted his own thoughts. "You're the one who used my name," McGee pointed directly at Tony.

"Watch where you're pointing that thing," Tony laughed. "You almost poked Abby's eye out. Man, McGee. You really need to lighten up," Tony said as he wiped his mouth. The food was finished; the free wine was almost finished. It was time to go. "Let's pay up and leave," Tony said as the rest followed him.

"Thank you for dining with us Sirs," the man said. "Oh for celebrities and their guests it's free for the first time. We like the word of mouth that celebrities give others and so on," The man continued speaking.

"That is very kind of you kind Sir," Tony did his British accent. "The wine was absolutely exquisite. Its flavor was really strong and it didn't go straight to the head… Excellent choice of wine Sir," Tony added.

"Did you enjoy the wine Mister Gemcity?" The man asked hopefully. He played with his wrist in anticipation.

"Excellent choice of wines, Sir," McGee put the man's mind at ease.

* * *

_**Washington Art Museum**_

Tony, Ziva, Abby and McGee strode into the art museum with purposeful steps. They talked to each other intently. Tony stood in front of a painting a long time while the others were waiting around. Tony smiled as other people began walking around the same area.

Abby whistled to get everyone's attention. Tony's, Ziva's and McGee's heads turned towards Abby. They were unsure of whose attention she was attempting to get. "Ladies and Gentleman… And schoolgirls and schoolboys," she said to the group of people who had gathered around. "I'm Abby and I'll be your tour guide. Come with me please and I'll begin this tour ASAP. So are you ready to fill your young minds with knowledge of the art world?" Abby asked.

There were some reluctant yeses from the kids.

"Oh come on, I can't hear you? Are you saying yes?" Abby asked as she cupped her ears.

"Yes!" All the kids jumped up and screamed.

"Good… And today, we have three special guests with us. They're professionals in the Art world… We have Timothy McGee an Art analyst, Tony DiNozzo who is an Art Dealer and Ziva who is an Art critic… All from the National Art Institute of Virginia. We all should be honored," Abby smiled as the three of them looked at her with their jaws dropping.

Tony stood next to Abby. "I'm going to get you for this," he mouthed through a smile. The three so called Art experts gave the kids a little wave.

"Unbelievable," Ziva mouthed.

Abby lead the kids through the exhibits as if she had been a real guide. "Here, just here is the not so popular works of art. These are the exhibits that don't quite make it into mainstream but they do deserve a showing," she said.

"This here is a known as The Internal," Tony told the tour. "It's by V. Colissimo. I try and get one of his works for every museum. A must have," he told them.

"But it's signed by C.H Regeal," The teacher said.

"That's true… This is one of Colissimo's early works. He wasn't very confident about his early works so -," Tony was interrupted by a nudge from Abby. "Oh sorry… I'm stepping on my colleague's toes here. McGee," he pointed to McGee who was standing there like a stunned mullet.

"Yeah, right. Early on in his career he was scared to show his true self. So therefore he hid behind the pseudonym and proudly displayed his work," McGee traced his finger along some of the red brush strokes. "If you notice here… You can actually see the story of his art in this painting. Each stroke starts off shakily as you see if you look very closely. They start off slowly and becomes more confident, more steady as the brush stroke reaches its end," McGee tried to sound like he knew what he was doing.

"Actually I prefer his earlier work," Tony said. "They fetch more on the market," he interjected.

"Well I have to be excused for a moment… Now if you have any questions concerning art, please feel free to ask the trio of experts," Abby left in a hurry. That left Tony, McGee and Ziva with the tour.

"As an art critic what do you think the never ending flight of stairs is supposed to be representing," A teacher asked Ziva.

It took a moment for Tony to whisper the explanation in her ear. "Oh yes. The never ending stairs show how there is never an end to a journey. Just when you think you have reached the end it only reveals that there are more steps to climb," Ziva answered.

"It does sound depressing," The female teacher said.

"Oh no it's not," McGee said. "It's a realistic outlook. Good even, since if one reaches the journey's end, then where would they go. What would there be?" McGee piped up.

"Another journey perhaps," Ziva suggested.

"Hey can we take a picture of you three for our community newspaper?" Another teacher asked.

"But isn't all journey's interlinked into one larger journey, Ziva?" Tony asked. The three of them were asked to stand next to each other. They quickly complied.

"Not every journey is intertwined with another one," Ziva answered him. "Surely there must be separate ones."

"Are you suggesting that people skip from one to another?" McGee asked.

"Excuse me, young man," Tony felt a tapping on his shoulder. He turned around to see an older woman standing before him. "I was wondering if you can help me," the woman asked. Tony looked at Mrs. Mallard, he was stunned. "I seem to have lost my son," she said to Tony.

"Your son?" Tony asked with a bewildered look. He looked around to see if there was any sign of Ducky. Surely he couldn't be there. "There he is," Tony pointed to a figure in the distance with the telltale hat. "I'm sure he's looking for you," Tony said quickly. "Now… Tour if you can make your way to the next section… I'm sure the tour guide will be back shortly. Tony ushered them through to the next section and spotted Abby. "We have to go. Ducky's here," Tony told the others.

They jogged through the gallery and passed Mrs. Mallard and Ducky. "There was a gigolo in the gallery Donald," Mrs. Mallard tried to tell Ducky.

"You shouldn't wonder off on your own, Mother," Ducky tried to say.

"Hey!" A male's voice called out. "No running in the gallery," the voice commanded.

Tony, McGee, Ziva and Abby stopped jogging all together and began walking until they all got safely outside. Tony laughed once they reached the car. "That was close," he said. It was impossible to figure out where to go.

"Could you drop me off home," McGee said with a little whine. He was beginning to feel worse and too tired for all this adventure.

"Hey there's a baseball game on the way," Abby said. She was reading some guy's paper. "But I think we should get Timmy some water… He's looking a little dehydrated," she said.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Alright then. Refreshments… Ballgame, McGee's house and that is it right?" Ziva asked. She wanted clarification.

"I promise that that's it," Tony answered. He walked in front of Abby and showed her that he had his fingers crossed. Abby covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.

* * *

_**A/N: What could possibly go wrong when they get their refreshments and go to the ball game? Stay tuned as they're almost caught out.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Tony DiNozzo's Day Off 3**_

McGee waited for the others in the car as they went into the Starbucks shop to pick up some refreshments. He had tried to warn them that that wasn't a smart idea, but they had responded by informing him that Gibbs was probably still at the bullpen, drowning in a sea of paperwork.

Tony, Abby and Ziva brought their water bottles to the counter and waited to be served. "I actually feel like a coffee," Tony said much to the displeasure of Ziva. Abby was the one who was just willing to go for the ride. "No?" He asked.

"We will miss the kick off," Ziva was trying to put him off the idea.

"Sacks," Abby attempted to interrupt.

"I think you mean the first pitch Ziva. Kick off is in football," Tony explained.

"Fornell," Abby tapped Tony on the shoulder and pointed to the two FBI agents that had just entered Starbucks. They knew that the next time Fornell saw Gibbs that he'd tell them he saw them out and about. They covered their faces with newspapers and walked past Fornell and Sacks.

Something had caught Fornell's attention. He had seen three people walk by with newspapers covering themselves and walked towards one of the tables. He paid for his coffee before turning to greet the three people who were now sitting at a table with their heads buried in their papers. There was something that felt familiar about them. "Hey," Fornell said to the three people at the table.

The three of them lowered their papers to reveal two young men and a little girl. "Can I help you?" The young man asked Fornell.

"I thought you were someone else," Fornell answered apologetically.

"That's alright," the man didn't sound too impressed. His daughter flicked her newspaper angrily just like her father and went back to reading.

"What was all that about?" Sacks asked his superior.

"Mistaken identity," Fornell answered simply. He was sure that he saw someone he knew behind newspapers but he wasn't sure who.

McGee looked at the shop from the backseat of the car. He was shocked to see Tony, Ziva and Abby almost bursting through the Starbucks entrance and sprinting to the car. Tony couldn't get the car started quickly enough. "What happened?" McGee asked as they drove off. "Oh God, I really hoped you paid for those," McGee said as he sat back in the seat.

"Of course we did McWorrier," Tony threw a bottle of water to the backseat. "We don't want to do anything wrong now do we?" He smiled at Ziva in the front seat who shook her head in disagreement. "We want to do something wrong?" Tony raised his eyebrows.

Abby reached over from the backseat and punched Tony in the arm. "Get to the ballgame Tony," Abby said frantically.

They drove up to the Nationals Park Stadium. "Shit," Tony cursed. He never really thought about how close the Navy Yard was to the Washington Nationals home turf. "If everybody can look to their right, you'll be able to see the Navy Yard in the distant… But remember ladies and gentlemen keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times and wait for the vehicle to come to a complete stop before disembarking… Thank you for travelling with DiNozzo Tour Groups," Tony said before finding a car parking space.

* * *

_**NATIONALS PARK STADIUM**_

McGee, Ziva and Abby had already managed to find their seats. It wasn't a packed stadium today but there were a lot of people in their section. Tony came in with a handful of stuff and managed to make his way to the seat. "A real American hotdog," Tony smiled as he handed them along to the others. "Mustard, dog and onions and more mustard," he smiled as the others began biting into it.

There was a chorus of thanks from the others. And soon they were really getting into the game. By end of the fourth inning even Ziva was getting into the swing of things. Most of the time it just sounded like nonsensical chanting. But it was better than sitting down and looking like the odd one out. The President of The Washington Nationals baseball club appeared during the break.

"Ladies and Gentleman… We have a special announcement to make. Wait, now hear me out," he said as the crowd got restless. They were hanging for some entertainment, not words. "Wait… As a special prize, a seat number will be drawn and they'll have a chance to win five thousand dollars and a year's membership… And I don't mean the cheap seats either," there was a loud uproar.

Tony waited for the numbers to be drawn and looked around. He wasn't paying much attention to the actual draw. The chances of winning were almost astronomical. Once the numbers were read out everybody in their section began cheering. Tony felt someone slap him on the shoulder.

"Hey!" Tony said.

"That's your seat buddy," A male fan said.

Tony checked the seat number. The man was right, the President of the Washington Nationals called out was Tony's seat. He couldn't get to where the man was standing quick enough…

* * *

_**Meanwhile… Back at the NCIS bullpen**_

Frankly, Jimmy Palmer was bored. There was no Ducky, no autopsies needing to be done and even the NCIS team members weren't there. Gibbs was doing his paperwork and had the local baseball game on the baseball screen. Gibbs had informed him that Tony, McGee was sick and was taken home by Ziva and Abby was out visiting the nuns because of a tragedy.

Gibbs didn't have the sound on, on the plasma screen. Thankful for that, because currently, it was showing Tony DiNozzo with a baseball in the middle of the ballpark. He looked like he was ready to pitch. Gibbs was about to turn around, so Palmer, in order to save Tony decided to make it look like he accidentally knocked the papers off Gibbs' desk.

"Sorry," Palmer said.

Gibbs looked expressionless. Which was usually his expression for really pissed off. He walked around to see Palmer feebly attempting to get the files together. But only succeeded in making more of a mess. Palmer stood up to stand out of the way and to watch Tony's pitch.

"Are you being a clumsy idiot to annoy me Palmer?" Gibbs asked.

Palmer watched the batter swing and miss at Tony's pitch. "Yes!" Palmer yelled in excitement. Then it sunk in. "I mean, no, I mean I'm clumsy yes, but I'm not doing it to annoy you," Palmer hoped to confuse the issue by adding many yeses and no's into one sentence.

"Are you going to help me or not Palmer?" Gibbs asked eventually.

"No damnit!" Palmer yelled as the batter on screen let a wide ball go through to the catcher.

"What?!" Gibbs asked. He was clearly already annoyed. His whole team was out. And now Jimmy Palmer was doing his best to tick him off. Gibbs placed the folders on the desk and went to turn towards his seat.

"Wait!" Palmer said urgently. "There was some paperwork Doctor Mallard wanted you to have a look at," Palmer quickly thought up of an excuse. "It's pertaining to the previous case."

"Were you going to wait until the end of the day to tell me?" Gibbs asked in annoyance. It seemed Palmer was intent on rubbing him up the wrong way.

"Yes!" Palmer almost jumped and punched the air. Tony got two strikes against the batter. "Oh," he couldn't think of anything to say to get out of this one.

"Mister Palmer!" Gibbs shouted. He was sounding really annoyed but followed Palmer to the elevator. Gibbs was positive that Palmer was close to being killed by somebody.

* * *

_**The ballgame…**_

The crowd erupted as soon as the umpire called strike. Abby came running to Tony and almost tackled him to the ground in a bone crunching hug. "Congratulations! You've just won the full prize which includes a season pass to the Washington National's home games situated in the small skybox for you and three friends," The President of the Washington Nationals smiled as he handed over the CHEQUE. Tony waved it in the air in triumph as well as the tickets.

Tony reveled in the attention before returning to his seat. Everybody in the section congratulated him earnestly. Tony smiled at them all. It was great to actually win something. "We should ask for hush money," Abby said.

"What?" Tony asked. He was shocked at the notion.

"Yeah," McGee chimed in. Being out in the warm fresh air was actually making him feel better, though his nose was running a little.

"Hush money?" Tony laughed heartily.

"What is so funny about that?" Ziva asked.

"In order for me to give you hush money, I'll have to believe that you'll tell Gibbs that you saw me wagging work while yourselves are supposed to be sick McGee, taking care us home Ziva and you're supposed to be visiting a nun Abby," Tony said with a huge smile on his face. "So excuse me if I don't believe that you'll run to Gibbs," he leaned back in the chair with a triumphant grin.


End file.
